Ruminating

As the holiday season is fast approaching (mine beginning with Blinda's birthday on Halloween.) I feel increasingly lonley. I have no one to snuggle with underneath the Christmas tree, unless I want to do it with a three year old. It's going to be hard to sit around the Thanksgiving table and see my brothers and sister here with their spouses and i'm here by myself. It's just hard, and no one that I know has ever been through this. They have no idea what it's like. No idea what so ever. I am not saying that I want my ex husband back, i'm just merely stating i'm lonely and that I can't help but compare with what is to what it would be like. I don't think anyone can help doing this. I know that one of my big problems that I have is that i'm unable to really get out and do anything. How am I supposed to meet people if i'm always at home? I have no one to do anything with. I am just feeling sorry for myself today and I should just shut up